The purpose of this blog was supposed to be to get some of my fiction out there, so this is a short story I wrote when I was in college. It has nothing to do with the Triduum except everything has to do with it: the constant theme of my life of classy ladies, teenagers, cleaning toilets and the Resurrection.
And, just so you know, the main character's name is Ava, and she was born long, long before my goddaughter.
Lucy ...saw something... an albatross. . . . It called out in a strong sweet voice what seemed to be words though no one understood them. After that it spread its wings, rose, and began to fly slowly ahead, bearing a little to starboard. Drinian steered after it not doubting that it offered good guidance. But no one except Lucy knew that as it circled the mast it had whispered to her, “Courage, dear heart,” and the voice, she felt sure, was Aslan’s... Voyage of the Dawn Treader, CS Lewis
Today I stepped on a branch from a rose bush - literally, a bunch of thorns. I pulled it out of my pierced shoe and looked down at how nature could be so cruel. I've had a record of bad Triduum's for the last 8 years or so. Each time Easter approaches I'm haunted by the ghosts of Holy Thursday's past. Like those thorns splicing rubber, like the pain in our side, they're the stumbling block that keeps me pushing rewind and rewind.
See, I carry a bag of marbles around in my hand. Wanting each Holy Thursday to end differently. Every once in awhile, I get bored by the marble in my palm and I take out a new one. I look at it sitting there and for a moment see it for what it is - a marble - before I'm distracted by the next marble on top with a clear glaze, a dark center, it has everything my current marble doesn't. So I rotate. Through a bag of old marbles. All of them toys I've discarded and previously decided they were not the key to my happiness. And yet, I still believe.
Sometimes God burns bridges because it is essential that we find another way to get there.
This has been the hardest, best and most meaningful Lent ever. I wanted it to be about me and Jesus, and it was. I wanted to ponder happiness instead of marriage, and He led me. I wanted to overcome jealousy with hope and, well, we'll get there someday.